The Marshmallow/mellow Test by Walter Mischel & my addiction to Diet Coke is real

What can I say? I like a good book about a famous psychological experiment. Usually I go for those that are loosely connected to understanding actions perpetrated by them Nazis (Stanford Prison Experiment & Stanley Milgram ALLLLL DAYY SON) but whatever, I went for the semi-famous marshmallow experiment. This book seems to think this experiment is more well known than it actually is. Do people say the word MARSHMALLOW and think about this experiment? I think only in like, very specific circles.

Also, the spelling of the word marshmallow seems pretty controversial. I’ve been seeing it as MALLOW or MELLOW.

So the MarshWHATEVER experiment was in the 60s, also at Stanford because that’s where all the important psych stuff happens. A child was offered a reward, famously, a marshmallow. Then said child was told if they wait 15 minutes without eating the marshmallow, they would receive 2 marshmallows. Sometimes this experiment was done with cookies or pretzels or what have you.



They made this into a ridiculous longitudinal study and proved that children who were able to delay gratification when it came to mothereffing marshmallows just had better lives. Did better on the SATS, had more successful careers, happier relationships, etc, etc, etc, because they had this self-control surrounding marshmallows and delayed gratification.

I’m just gonna call bullshit on all this. I believe that the human relationship with food is a complicated one. Food can be a source of comfort, and that’s both an asset and a problem, depending on the individual pathology. Sure, I understand that your personality is formed very early on. But I just can’t accept that how a 5 year old reacts to 1 marshmallow vs the prospect of more marshmallows is going to represent their entire life. I take this personally as I was a 5 year old who would have eaten all the damn marshmallows while the experimenter went to go prep their next kid. I guess I would be interested in the marshmallow experiment in correlation to disordered eating as an adult.

In other news, I know aspartame is the worst. But I’ll be damned if I don’t love Diet Coke like Daenerys Targaryen loved Khal Drogo even though he is a terrible, rapey person.  I actually hate the taste of regular Coke, it’s basically liquid candy to me and if I want candy I would prefer to just chew it in the form of a chocolate something. So to reiterate, I do not drink Diet Coke because I think it’s a healthy option. I know it’s not. I enjoy it. And I’m not a stereotype that’s ordering Diet Coke with a cheeseburger and french fries. I’m a turkey burger kind of gal. And Michael and I usually share fries, if fries are an option. (BTW, I definitely recommend Ottomanelli Burger if you are looking for in an interesting turkey burger in the Woodside, Queens area). My point is I am not delusional or under any misconceptions when it comes to my health and my favorite beverage.


Here is a Diet Coke I drank in Italy:


HOW CUTE IS THAT? Coca Cola Light. You go on with your bad self.

Here is a Diet Coke I drank in the airport in China:


Here is Diet Coke I enjoyed in Thailand:


Here I am today, in the great city of New York, with 1.25 Liters of pure deliciousness



So yes, I love Diet Coke, and I’ve always known it is bad for me. I had heard somewhere that it can dissolve a baby tooth or whatever. I read that aspartame has not been definitively proven to cause cancer but it’s not looking good.  But last week, I read that it seriously screws with your metabolism. I think 20+ years is enough. I’m almost 30! I’m no spring chicken!  I lasted like 3 days without it last week. But then I had a bad day and was off the wagon again (on the wagon? off the wagon? Did Seinfeld ever get to the bottom of this?)

Anyway, starting today, March 16th, 2017, I am off soda of all forms, although I really didn’t have to worry about regular soda because I reiterate, why not just have candy?  I am also off the NICE! brand bubbly fruity water that has zero calories and artificial sweetener, even though I love it and have such happy Duane Reade connotations.

Please don’t try to connect any dots between my Diet Coke addiction and my personal feelings about the Marshmallow Test. Although to be fair, if I was hankering for some of my elixir of life, I would definitely not wait the 15 minutes for 2 Diet Cokes.

But that is all in the past! Goodbye you beautiful silvery goddess of cancer and obesity.


I’m done with both of you! #TEAMKANYE


My attempt at Kraft easy mac starts a fire in the office, Harry Potter & The Cursed Child makes me feel a lot of feelings, mostly negative. SPOILERS AHEAD




Since it’s release, anyone who knows me relatively well has asked me about this book. They either assume that I have read it already, or have made plans for a date with myself in the near future to cozy up to this one.

I had no intention to read Harry Potter & The Cursed Child, and this was a surprise to many, myself included.

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Exp dates are vital when you purchase salad in a bag. Breaking up with my e-reader. I regret not dedicating my life to the psycho-analysis of shame in the collective experience of the German people post- Third Reich.

My e-reader and I are going through a process of conscious uncoupling at this time.  I would agree wholeheartedly to all who exclaim the merits of this noble device. The ability to carry 500+ books all in one thin, light, electronic apparatus is truly astounding. This is an exciting time to be alive.

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This book changed my life and justified my entire existence. I also steal a box of low-sugar instant oatmeal from my parents and consume some in a paper cup because I’m an adult.

As many of you might know, I am working towards my license in mental health counseling and am very interested in psychology and counseling in a general sense. At this time of my life, my education and career feels very rewarding. I work for a famous psychiatrist in the ADHD community. He rose in popularity and to the top of the New York Times Bestseller list for his books about his strength-focused approach to ADHD. Because of him, for the first time people recognized that having ADHD could attribute to POSITIVE aspects of their lives and personality. He brought home the point that it is all about recognizing what strategies make sense for you. I love talking to people who have read his books and hearing that they finally feel understood and everything makes sense.


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Jill gets into North Korean documentaries, spends her rare free time reading about North Korea. Also eats potato, broccoli and cheese from the frozen food aisle of Key Food.

A few weeks ago I saw a documentary about North Korea at the Film Forum called “Under The Sun” and it kick-started a fascination with the weird-ass situation in that country. I’m also referring to everyone as “My Fearless Leader” whenever I can. People seem to not appreciate that. I then saw a documentary on Netflix entitled “The Propaganda Game”.

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FOOD: Carvel Nutella Ice Cream Current Book: YA phenom THE FAULT IN OUR STARS by John Green

My main complaint with all things nutella-themed is NOT ENOUGH NUTELLA. My first date with my boyfriend was at this crepe restaurant near my apartment and we still laugh about its awfulness. It just wasn’t enough nutella in my crepe. It was just the worst. I would like for all food in general to have more nutella involved. So if it is supposed to have nutella in it, you best be smacking me in the face with nutella.
Thar she is

Creamy, delicious. But I feel a lack of smacking nutella. I should really just screw this and eat a jar of nutella with a spoon. Which I have done.

Iced-Mocha-Latte Iced latte with whipped cream because if you are going to offer me whipped cream on something, the answer is OBVIOUSLY. oh yeah, check out this badboy.

Carvel is hands down the superior ice cream establishment over Baskin’N Robbins. And yet Baskin is the one with the business alliance with Dunkin. I do believe that’s how they still exist. I wonder how that happened. Carvel deserves to be hand in hand with America’s subpar bagel chain. I am all about America, but if Carvel became chummy with Tim Hortons, I don’t know where my loyalties would lie. I may be eating some Canadian bagels.

What am I saying right now?


Anyway, on to my book.



I just started reading The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. How I came to start reading this book is pretty adorable. I am obsessed, head over obsessed with my goodreads site. I am constantly adding things to my to-read list. And very often, they are not books I am actually serious about reading, they are just like, hey maybe, sounds kind of interesting. One day perhaps. So now that “to-read” section is up to like 300+ books. My boyfriend keeps surprising me with random books from my “to-read” section. It’s pretty sweet, but always pretty random. Because it is always a book I completely forgotten about. I don’t think I ever really wanted to actually read The Fault in Our Stars. Its just SOOO YA. I’d like to think I’m too good for what the kids are reading these days.

Startling revelation: I am not too good for YA. No one is too good for YA. Those adolescents know the good shit (when there are no vampires involved).

I’m only up to page 47. But boy I am in love with this book. I am in love with our narrator. Her perspective is just so dark and so witty.

Case in Point:

“…the diagnosis came three months after I got my first period. Like: Congratulations! You’re a woman. Now die.”

How can you not love this person?

I know that I am in for a heart-wrenching journey and inevitably some adolescent, probably this guy our narrator is about to fall in love with, is going to pass away prematurely. But I am ready for this ride.

So that’s what I’m up to. While Nicole goes jogging in Central Park like she’s in an episode of Sex & the City, YOU ARE SO THE CHARLOTTE.

First Post: The Reader by Bernhard Schlink and 7/11 Brand Steak Lover’s Flavor Potato Chip

This book is weird like only a love story concerning a pedophile illiterate Nazi and a 15 year old with Hepatitis can be. It is a super easy fast read – 218 pages and each chapter is about 4-5 pages tops. I have wanted to read this book ever since the movie came out in 2008. Thank you  Strand Bookstore  for turning this into a reality for me! For the sweet price of $7. I have been waiting for my library’s website to add this, but it never happened. So, here we are.

See that? They are reading. She is into it. Spoiler alert?


The movie did not deviate too much from the book, which I respect so much.

If you are interested in the most beautiful love story concerning a man and woman being all in love and one teaching the other how to read, I recommend Stanley & Iris with Jane Fonda and Robert De Niro. Its got everything: a single working mother, young bobby d’s beautiful face, a relationship of two people meeting each other’s needs and flourishing with the belief that if they believe in me, there’s nothing I can’t do! and whatever I guess that is everything.

This is not the inspiring love story where one teaches another how to read cause they just love each other so much. This book is sickly sad. The narrator, Michael Berg, could have had a happy life. There were pieces in the book where women his age showed genuine care and interest in him. He was married for a short while. But his dedication to her, his inability to get unstuck from a place he was when he was 15. It was just heartbreaking. This one person changed the course of his entire life.

This book is infuriating and offensive kind of in the same way Boy in the Striped Pajamas was,  but not nearly to that degree of insanely implausible. The naive and confused Hanna on trial, not fully understanding what she did wrong by letting hundreds of Jews burn alive. What? I should not have volunteered to join the army? It was just hard to feel the sympathy and pity that Michael felt for her as he is watching her try to defend herself and failing at it.

This book addresses a theme I find fascinating. The generation after WWII in Germany and how they coped and struggled to understand what their parents had been part of.

“We condemned our parents to shame, even if the only charge we could bring was that after 1945 they had tolerated the perpetrators in their midst”

The narrator’s philosophical debates  are meant to feel deep and soul-searching but its more like a projectile vomit of rhetorical questions.


Speaking of unpleasant. I ate this while working late. I thought, what is bizarre here at 7/11. Besides the Dorito-crusted mozzarella stick-triangle thing. And everything. It kind of tastes like some goofy version of a BBQ chip. I brought it to my office buddies and their response was, per usual, “but why, Jill?” . DON’T ASK WHY, ASK WHY NOT, is what I always say. Especially when it comes to bizarre chip flavors. I would love to try out one of those pickle-flavored guys.

And so, while my fabulous big sister does Pilates or whatever the fancy are doing on the UWS, I sit here reading my illiterate Nazi love stories and eating meat-flavored snack foods.

It’s how I roll.