The Marshmallow/mellow Test by Walter Mischel & my addiction to Diet Coke is real

What can I say? I like a good book about a famous psychological experiment. Usually I go for those that are loosely connected to understanding actions perpetrated by them Nazis (Stanford Prison Experiment & Stanley Milgram ALLLLL DAYY SON) but whatever, I went for the semi-famous marshmallow experiment. This book seems to think this experiment is more well known than it actually is. Do people say the word MARSHMALLOW and think about this experiment? I think only in like, very specific circles.

Also, the spelling of the word marshmallow seems pretty controversial. I’ve been seeing it as MALLOW or MELLOW.

So the MarshWHATEVER experiment was in the 60s, also at Stanford because that’s where all the important psych stuff happens. A child was offered a reward, famously, a marshmallow. Then said child was told if they wait 15 minutes without eating the marshmallow, they would receive 2 marshmallows. Sometimes this experiment was done with cookies or pretzels or what have you.



They made this into a ridiculous longitudinal study and proved that children who were able to delay gratification when it came to mothereffing marshmallows just had better lives. Did better on the SATS, had more successful careers, happier relationships, etc, etc, etc, because they had this self-control surrounding marshmallows and delayed gratification.

I’m just gonna call bullshit on all this. I believe that the human relationship with food is a complicated one. Food can be a source of comfort, and that’s both an asset and a problem, depending on the individual pathology. Sure, I understand that your personality is formed very early on. But I just can’t accept that how a 5 year old reacts to 1 marshmallow vs the prospect of more marshmallows is going to represent their entire life. I take this personally as I was a 5 year old who would have eaten all the damn marshmallows while the experimenter went to go prep their next kid. I guess I would be interested in the marshmallow experiment in correlation to disordered eating as an adult.

In other news, I know aspartame is the worst. But I’ll be damned if I don’t love Diet Coke like Daenerys Targaryen loved Khal Drogo even though he is a terrible, rapey person.  I actually hate the taste of regular Coke, it’s basically liquid candy to me and if I want candy I would prefer to just chew it in the form of a chocolate something. So to reiterate, I do not drink Diet Coke because I think it’s a healthy option. I know it’s not. I enjoy it. And I’m not a stereotype that’s ordering Diet Coke with a cheeseburger and french fries. I’m a turkey burger kind of gal. And Michael and I usually share fries, if fries are an option. (BTW, I definitely recommend Ottomanelli Burger if you are looking for in an interesting turkey burger in the Woodside, Queens area). My point is I am not delusional or under any misconceptions when it comes to my health and my favorite beverage.


Here is a Diet Coke I drank in Italy:


HOW CUTE IS THAT? Coca Cola Light. You go on with your bad self.

Here is a Diet Coke I drank in the airport in China:


Here is Diet Coke I enjoyed in Thailand:


Here I am today, in the great city of New York, with 1.25 Liters of pure deliciousness



So yes, I love Diet Coke, and I’ve always known it is bad for me. I had heard somewhere that it can dissolve a baby tooth or whatever. I read that aspartame has not been definitively proven to cause cancer but it’s not looking good.  But last week, I read that it seriously screws with your metabolism. I think 20+ years is enough. I’m almost 30! I’m no spring chicken!  I lasted like 3 days without it last week. But then I had a bad day and was off the wagon again (on the wagon? off the wagon? Did Seinfeld ever get to the bottom of this?)

Anyway, starting today, March 16th, 2017, I am off soda of all forms, although I really didn’t have to worry about regular soda because I reiterate, why not just have candy?  I am also off the NICE! brand bubbly fruity water that has zero calories and artificial sweetener, even though I love it and have such happy Duane Reade connotations.

Please don’t try to connect any dots between my Diet Coke addiction and my personal feelings about the Marshmallow Test. Although to be fair, if I was hankering for some of my elixir of life, I would definitely not wait the 15 minutes for 2 Diet Cokes.

But that is all in the past! Goodbye you beautiful silvery goddess of cancer and obesity.


I’m done with both of you! #TEAMKANYE